
From:    Shyamasundara (Dasa) ACBSP (Astrologer)
          <Shyamasundara.ACBSP@iskcon.com>
Date:     Yesterday 03:17 EST
To:       Vedic Astrology (Symposium hosted by Shyamasundara Das) [67]
Subject:  Marriage
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PAMHO AGTSP

I recently got the following letter from Bhanu Swami:

"could you post a series of guidelines >>for those
knowledgeable of astrology<< on marriage compatibility
according to your experience.  This question comes up most
often, and I usually just follow Raman's rules, but those
also dont give a definite procedure beyond mangala dosa and
nakshatra matching.  YOu mentioned about saturn of one
chart conjoining moon of the other as bad. what else?"

This is a very complex topic and requires a lot of
explanations with many examples. However I will try to give
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a few pointers. But unless one is an experienced astrologer
they should not dabble in these things. The conjugal lives
of devotees and the stability of our society are at stake.

First of all matching charts based only on Nakshatras is
grossly simplistic. Suppose that the boys star is
Mrgasirsha and the girls star is Purvabhadrapada in
Aquarius. According to the Kuta method of compatibility
this gets high marks of 30 out of 36 and is the highest
possible for both stars. Neophytes would take this as a
perfect match. But suppose that the girl's (or boy's) Moon
was conjoined with Saturn, Rahu or Mars, or a combination
of these planets or all three of them. Or what if 
the moon was in the 6th, 8th or 12th house? Would this
still be a good match? Not at all, it would be severely
afflicted.  The person with such malefic planets joined
their moon would be mentally deranged to say the least.

Another case this one from real life. The girl has moon in
Dhanishta in Kumbha Rasi, the boy has moon in Satabhisha.
This has the absolutely highest compatibility possible, 33
out of 36 points. But when they met the atmosphere soon
chilled and they never spoke again. Why? According to star
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matching this is the perfect match made in heaven. But it
didn't even last a few hours. The reason was not difficult
to see on examining the charts. The girl's Saturn was in
exact conjunction with the boy's lagna, thus the chilly
response.

When I was studying in India I was automatically drawn into
the process of matching horoscopes and had the opportunity
of seeing many done and was also personally involved in
several. (Since then I have matched more charts than I can
remember. So far I have had very good success.) In India I
was very surprized that many astrologers really didn't know
what they were doing when they matched charts. Perhaps it
is just a low standard in general. I was shocked to see
that some astrologers who were quite good in many areas
failed in this.

I thought about this very carefully and studied many charts
and many texts and learned from experience. I finally came
up with a system which is actually several methods put
together to form a three tiered screening system for
matching charts. The tiers are: [I was reading Prasna Marga
a few days ago and I realized that what I am proposing is
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very simular to the procedure that is specified there.]

1) Before even bringing the charts together, study each
chart separately. Examine each chart very carefully. What
is the quality of the chart? In other words what is the
character of the person possessing the chart? Is it high
grade, or low? If one is high and the other low immediatly
stop, there is no point going further. What is the capacity
(karma) for marriage, and relationships? If one is good and
the other bad; again stop. If both are good or both bad you
can continue. (Both bad cancel out to a degree). As
devotees we are concerned about spiritual life so this must
be considered also. 

This level requires a lot of experience in Jataka. You have
to really know what you are doing and what to look for.
That is: what is the condition of the whole chart? What is
the condition of lagna, lagna lord, 7th house, 7th lord,
karaka for marriage Venus. The same must be seen in
navamsa. Rasi and Navamsa must be related. For example, if
1st or 7th lord in rasi is debilitated in navamsa it is not
good. If 1st and 7th in rasi are strong or conjoined in
navamsa or otherwise related it is good. In Prabhupada's
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chart his lagna lord Saturn is debilitated thus his was not
a happy marriage and according to Nadis this gives sannyas
yoga (see section where BV Raman had his nadi reading). If
rasi is bad but navamsa is good then there is good
marriage. If rasi is good but navamsa is bad then marriage
will not turn out. This is in relation to 1st and 7th
houses and their lords and significators. 

Also check to see what the planetary periods and transits
are. If one or both of the parties will soon have a major
change in the mahadasha, especially a negative one then one
should hold back.

In any case this requires a lot of knowledge and experience
in Jataka.

If on the whole both charts are of equivalent strength then
continue to the next phase.

2) Matching the charts. Superimpose both charts on each
other and compare aspects, conjuctions etc. Did you ever
wonder why you get along with one person but not another?
It is much like a key that fits in one lock but not
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another. Just as in a natal chart if one planet conjoins
another they affect each other, in the same way if one
person's planet aspects yours there is also an affect.

Before looking at details we must discuss the following. On
what basis must there be compatibility? (Not necessarily in
order of importance.) There must be compatibility on the
physical, emotional, intellectual and spiritual levels. If
you sit on a chair with one leg missing you will fall over.
In the same way two person's must be compatible on all
levels for there to be a stable marriage.

Physical: there must be sexual attraction between the
persons involved. If a person is not satisfied at home then
they will look elsewhere, disturb society and break the
marriage. Kamasastra describes four kinds of men and women.
They are divied into the four catagories according to
(among other things) their degree of sexual desire. So it
would be folly to put someone with a strong sex desire with
someone with a much lower sex desire. Of course spiritual
practice sublimates sexual desire but we have seen from
experience that sex desire will be there. Also two persons
who strictly followed celibacy before marriage may have
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difficulty doing so once married because they are not
accustomed to the new situation which takes time to adjust
to.

We must admit that sex attraction is the prime reason for
marriage and that marriage is a voluntary austerity because
it restricts the number of sex partners we have. If some
one says that physical attraction is not important to them.
Then I say that they are entering into the wrong ashrama.
If they are so detached from such externals then they
should be taking sannyasa not thinking of getting married.
(Since this aspect of sex attraction is there we seriously
doubt the wisdom of sannyasis being involved in matching
charts. In fact SB chapter 7 totally restricts sannyasis
from practicing astrology at all. But if shortage of
astrologers creates a need? What to do? They do so at their
own risk. I am always in favor of protecting sannyasis from
such things.)

Emotional: each party must be sensitive to the feelings of
the other. Plenty of couples have been sexually attracted
but as time went on they found that they had no emotional
compatibility. For couples to get along they need to be
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able to tune in to each other's needs, feel comfortable in
each other's company, be able to nurture each other and
respect each other. 

Intellectual: the parties must be on par with each other.
It would be folly to put an Einstien with an air head. Or a
Brahmana with a Sudra or Vaisya. Educational level may not
be the same. But this is not serious; for ignorance can be
combated by eductation but stupidity can not be combated by
anything.

Spiritual: both parties must be on an near equal level of
spiritual comitment. You don't match an athiest with a
believer. Nor would you match a loose devotee with a
serious one. You could match a less advanced with a more
advanced one if the less advanced one was comitted to
spiritual life.

Ultimately the astrologer has to be reasonably sure that
the two people will love each other. If there is no love
then the marriage is sure to break. Life is difficult to
start with, but put two people and their bi-products together
and you have the potential for a lot of difficulties. If
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there is no love to bind them together then at the first
sign of difficulty they will split apart. Just like if you
hang a painting on the wall with a tiny tack then at the
slightest shake it will fall down. But if you solidly nail
it to the wall with several strong nails then even in a Los
Angeles earth quake it will not fall off the wall (though
the house may collapse). 

So love is the most essential ingredient. This love is the
natural affection of one soul for another and as long as
the other party is a devotee of Krsna and not an impediment
to spiritual life then it is not a blockage to spiritual
life (see BG 13.8-12 purport) but an asset. We can not be
falsely detached and love everyone else except our own
family members (who are devotees of Krsna). This doesn't
mean that it is love in the highest, purest state like our
love for Krsna. But it doesn't mean that it is not love. I
have seen that with most devotees who have a very solid
marriage (and there are several) that there is quite a lot
of love. But the one essential quality that they love the
most in their partner is that their spouse is a devotee of
Krsna. This is what they cherish the most. If that was missing
the marriage would dissolve. This however doesn't mean that
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if the other criteria are missing and both person's are
devotees then the marriage would be successful. It is a sad
statement of the level of our devotion that such marriages
have all failed. That is the unhappy history of most ISKCON
marriages of the past, where practically this has been the
only criterion for matching the couples together.

Difficult combinations to watch out for are: Saturn in one
chart closely (within 3-5 degrees) aspecting or conjoining
the other person's Lagna, Sun, Moon, Venus, or chart ruler
(lagna lord). These are especially critical in a negative
sense. Saturn thus situated can be a real wet blanket and
do everything to ruin a relationship. The damage that
Saturn does will be different depending on the situation
and planet concerned.

In contrast Jupiter or Venus making contact with the same
planets makes for happy relationships. The same can also be
said for Lagna, Sun, Moon and Lagna lord.

The position of Mars and Venus in the charts is of critical
importance as it relates to the health or otherwise of the
first criteria mentioned in this section.
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              One should also note the elements involved. For example if
one chart has all planets in water signs and the other has
all planets in air signs then this would never work. The
person with all water would be very emotional and
subjective while the air person would be very abstract and
objective. They would have a hard time relating. Also note
the type of signs male/female that the planets fall in. A
woman with predominance of planets in male signs
especially lagna, lagna lord and Moon will be like a man in
a woman's body. This could lead to a lot of conflict with
men, she could also have latent lesbian qualities depending
on other things as well. The opposite holds true for men. A
lot of female signs make a man very effeminate though not
necessarily gay. It is best if in both charts there is a
balance between male and female signs I would say 60%-40%
is about best. By that I mean for a male 40% in female
signs for a woman 40% in male signs. Otherwise the male
becomes hard, cruel and insensitive and the female becomes
too dependent, clinging and passive. 

If on this second level there is found that there is vast
majority of positive combinations then we can move to the
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third stage. I should emphasise that I take a conservative
stand and only recomend what I consider really good
matches. It is not sufficient to allow a match of 50-60%,
it has to be much better. We are after all concerned with
the future of ISKCON. A society is only as strong as its
families. 

3) Now that we have seen that the couple is compatible and
will be very attracted to each other we must next determine
whether it is durable. Will it last? Those in divorce court
were at one time in love with each other, or so they
thought. What went wrong? Well one thing that went wrong is
that they didn't have access to a good astrologer. Aside
from that I don't know. But what we are concerned with now
is how to determine durability.

In order to determine durability the astrologer must be
expert in prasna. After examining the compatibility and
being absorbed in the two person's, the astrologer should do
prasna to determine what would be the result if the two got
married. This will confirm whether or not the marriage
should take place or not. It some also times reveals weakness's
that were overlooked in steps 1 or 2.
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              Example. Several years ago a devotee from Canada called me
in Dallas and had me do a compatibility study for him and a
girl who lived in the South East USA. She was a little
older than him. On studying the charts they both looked
alright and on level 2 I could see why they were attracted
to each other and wanted to get married. I was thinking
that this would work. But on doing prasna I got a very
negative response. I advised the man to forget about this
girl. He, however, impelled by cupid, chose to ignor my
advice. He flew her to Canada where it soon turned out that
she wanted to live like vanaprasthas while he wanted a
conjugal relationship with children and the works. She
later sold him some erzats jewels at a high cost and then
left town with the money. He had just learned a $10,000
lesson that you should listen to your astrologer.

Sometimes step 1 and 2 can be avoided completely. Recently
someone asked me to do  acompatibility study for him. As
soon as I picked up the phone I noted the time (a long
standing habit I have). He asked about marriage. I drew up
the chart for the time he called and it confirmed that
marriage was on his mind but that it would never work. I
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then did step 1 and 2 both of which failed and confirmed
step 3 which I had done first.

As a final step, in case the charts pass through all three
steps successfully with a high degree of compatibility (75%
or more). I would suggest that the couple have the
astrologer choose an auspicious time to conduct the
marriage. This will clinch things.

I have left out much. This is the subject of a whole book
and it will be the subject of a course I will put together
in which we will go through many details and examples. I
have many charts on file to use as examples (all anonymous
of course).

I should also like to say that the reason I have not been
very active on this forum is because I have been very busy
working on the astrology course curriculum for the Florida
Vedic College. Unfortunately I not only have to write the
curricculum but also write the text to go with it. I am
happy to say that I am near completion of the first, and
most difficult course (for me that is), JYO101 Introduction
to Vedic Astrology. It should be ready within 4 to 6 weeks. I
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have been working on it for two years. When it is ready I
will announce it here.

Your servant

Shyamasundara Dasa

(Text 102122) ----------------------------------------------

Devamata (dd) HKS (NE-BBT Georgian) entered COM on TB
Rucira-avatara (das) SS (Plovdiv - BU) left COM
Vijaya (dd) HKS (NE-BBT) entered COM on BBT


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