Jayananda Thakura


GOOD OLD DAYS-

I fondly remember the good old days back in San Francisco in 1974, how happy we were. How Jayananda was the natural leader and friend and father to us all. It was all so natural and from the heart, pure grass roots preaching, joyfully performed. We chanted at Golden Gate park or fisherman's wharf in wild abandon, free and joyous, with no concern of public opinion. We were Prabhupada's children, and it seemed we would dance and sing Krishna's names forever and forever. It seemed that nothing would ever change.

Those were the good ole days. Of course, devotional service is eternal and is always joyous and good. It was just so very special in those days, because Jayananda and Srila Prabhupada were there, and a special shakti was there.

Jayananda was there for all of us. He shunned the mere shadow of any semblance of position or praise or reward (puja, pratista, dhana). He was completely free of personal ambition. He lead the men and women on the personal level, right out there on the front line of activity. He was right there in the thick of it, leading the charge. He did not sit back and sent out orders like a modern army general.

He was like Bhismadeva in many ways. He was huge, such a big man, in more ways than one, like a great warrior on the battlefield of Kaliyuga. He was the Maharathi of Lord Caitanya's army, who could take on several aksuhini divisions of Kali singlehandedly.

He did not lead from behind a desk or meetings. No fault to those who did. Not that we cannot serve from behind a deek (I've spent alot of time behind the desk myself). Service can done in these ways, that's alright. But Jayananda could not sit still, he had to be out there in the field, out on the front line. He showed us how it is so sweet when the leader is there with all the devotees.

Service was the key. Serving others, serving the Name and Guru. Jayananda was known for his service attitude. Known for his love of prasadam, cooking prasadam, and serving prasadam. Jayananda mostly cooked and served the prasad, but sometimes he sat to be served and take with the devotees.

The movement was built by frontline workers and preachers, book distributers, cooks, pujaris, Ratha cart builders, etc, and Jayananda showed this so nicely.

The early days had little beauracracy, everything was the simple formula of Lord Caitanya, just chanting, dancing and distributing Prasada. Jayananda had great faith in the power of Prasadam, and he had great faith in the power of the Holy Name. He totally believed in the power of these two potent items as being fully capable to deliver the fallen souls, and he used this double barreled weapon to capture the conditioned souls, with phenomenal success.

He did not legislate and make rulings for others to engage in devotional service. He persuaded us and newcomers very powerfully to serve Krishna, by his shining example. He inspired us to do things for Krishna and Srila Prabhupada in a selfless spirit, without hope of material return. Those who served at Valentia street temple knew the impossibility of material enjoyment. Everyone had equal this and that, no envy over who had what, who didn't. In those days, everyone was tight knit family, and service spirit was spontaneous. Jayananda was our friend and sire (and mother), and Srila Prabhupada our eternal Gurudeva, and Lord Jagannatha was our most worshipable Lord. Jayananda loved everyone. Either men or women, big devotee, little devotee, made no difference to him, and everyone loved him in return.

The formula is still the same. Preaching and serving is eternally the same. It just seemed that ISKCON preaching was so sweet back then. I wish I could inspire myself and others to do more like it was then, but I am not the leader type, and struggle to maintain myself. I need to be pushed by the higher Vaisnavas. I have to be forced to want to go out to preach by higher Vaisnavas. I don't have the strength on my own. That is why the association of devotees is so important. If only I could follow Jayananda as much as I love him. If only I could just follow his example purely, then maybe some day, some day, some day I hope, I will be with him and Srila Prabhupada again, and see their blissful forms, and serve them.

***

THE FIRST TIME I SAW HIM

I knew Jayananda was a very extraordinary soul before I even laid eyes upon him or heard his name. Sounds impossible. Yes, this does seem impossible, but it is possible to see a Vaisnava's glory in the many eyes of a whole room of people. Just as the Sun's glory reflects at night from other astral bodies, so did he shine that day, in a similar fashion. I saw his glory shining and reflecting from the many eyes and faces within a temple room full of devotees. They were all looking directly behind me as I got up from my obeisances. What I saw in their faces was something amazing. It was spontaneous and natural, not something formalized or followed. "What a wonderful person he must be, this person behind me," I thought, then turned around.

It was right before arotik one evening, when I was standing there and all of a sudden everyone hit the deck with big enthusiastic grins on their faces, their eyes looking up at someone in rapturous ananda, as if welcoming a great soul who just entered. I turned around to see this giant of a man bowing down. Right then I knew that this man was an extraordinary devotee. He had hair and pants, yet without the shaved head and saffron robe, you could tell that he was a special devotee, by the way everyone reacted to him, and the great surge of energy that suddenly filled the temple room. You could see his special charisma right away. When he picked up a drum and lead arotick, jumping up and down, loudly chanting, it was really powerful. He was whipping up the devotees into a whirlpool of bhakti, they were just going wild. Then I knew that here was a great devotee, I was sure of it. I was attracted like iron fileing to a magnet.

Soon after, we all went to the San Diego festival. Jayananda drove the famous red truck down to San Diego, with all the festival paraphernalia. He quoted Srila Prabhupada that he (Prabhupada) could give us a festival every day, with all the different Vaisnava's appearance days, etc. Jayananda was prepared to put on a Festival every day. I think that was his favorite service, festivals.

He drawed me into his service, (thus into Prabhupada's service). I had never, ever, even dreamed that I would just voluntarily start to serve somebody, without being cajoled into it. Normally I was averse to serving anybody else, being the normal selfish person looking out for #1. Before I knew it, I was helping Jayananda clean up and load the truck, and I didn't know why. It was starting to get dark and we were loading things up. Jayananda started an impromtu kirtan, (he was famous for these causeless kirtans) dancing around the truck, everybody into it. Later I was up on the top of the truck with Jayananda, helping him. I felt such warmth from him, like being back with an old, old friend.

I asked a question to him, I said, "What is the problem? Why can't we just surrender to Krishna, it seems like an easy thing." He gave me this blissful smile like he was pleased that I asked him a philosophical question. He said, "It's not so easy because we are all rascals." I was surprised to hear him say that. I was naieve at the time and thought all the shaven headed devotees were so pure. This was our first exchange. It felt so good, to be able to talk with Jayananda. I was thinking that he was such an exceptional person, and yet he would talk with me like an old friend.

Back in San Fran, one day, Bhakta dasa (our temple president) came up to me and said, "Bhakta Tom, you are very lucky, why, any other devotee would give their right arm for the priviledge of what you’re about to get." He was so correct. Somehow providence had allowed me to travel with Jayananda on a long trip. I was to go with him on a 2 week incense run up to Salt Lake City. We hit the road in a van and the whole time we had so many wonderful Krishna Consciousness talks. He saved my life. I wasn’t so strong, but he sort of trained me up in Krishna Consciousness in those 2 weeks. He gave me strength that I might not have had without his intimate asscociation.

Jayananda’s great quality was that he seemed to see the diety in everyone’s heart. He saw with equal vision, no matter who the person was, Jayananda only saw him as a good person and Jayananda wanted to give him Krishna. He would never judge or criticise anyone, nor would he tolerate hearing criticism or any thing bad of anyone. He understood the true meaning of Bhakti, which is divine love, love for Krishna and his parts and parcels. He gave his love to everyone, he loved them for what they were, not making material distinctions of what this person is or is not, Jayananda only gave them love, and that is why everyone loved Jayananda. Jayananda loved Krishna and Srila Prabhupada, and therefore naturally he loved everyone else. He saw criticism as a hateful negative energy that corrupts everyone it contacts. He was always very positive, even in seemingly unsuccessful events, he would only see the good in it, and never dwell on the bad. That is why everyone felt good around him and never depressed.

Other Sanyasis said that Jayananda was the most advanced, and many of us say that he was Iskcon’s Saint. Jayananda didn’t gain this reputation by intellectual prowess or being a brilliant orater. (Iskcon has seen many brilliant oraters come and go) He earned his Sainthood through his service attitude, and using his mind, hands, and legs in Krishna’s service. This may sound trifling, (a lot of us used our hands and legs), but his activities were not common, even though they appeared to be normal on the surface. His work was an endless inspiration of selfless service, a constant act of unselfishness, a proof of love for Krishna and his Jivas, and proof of his great love for Srila Prabhupada. It was pure Bhakti yoga. He offered up his body and mind as a sacrifice to Krishna and the Spiritual Master. In this way he showed the meaning of Acharya, teaching by one’s example.

He practiced the yoga of hands and legs, doing lots of things nobody else wanted to do, doing the needful, doing the practical. He dumped the trash, he made the Bhoga runs, he cooked breakfast Prasad for the Sankirtan devotees and served it out to them. He stayed up late into the night cleaning the kitchen. He was sort of like our mother, always doing the things we were too lazy to do. He was always in the garage welding Ratha cart wheels, fixing cars, building Prasadam carts. He was always serving out the Mahaprasadam to the guests. He worked tirelessly and simutaneously alwys glorified the other devotees for their service. In this way, he endlessly inspired us with his enthusiasm and service attitude.

I think a lot of us get some kind of "special mercy" which allows us to stay in Krishna Consciousness. Some of us got personal "special mercy" from Srila Prabhupada. I know that Jayananda gave me this "special mercy," just as he gave it to scores of other devotees. Without him, I just don’t know if I could have made it. I could easily have been just a flash-in-the-pan, sentimental Bhakta, who would have sucumbed to Maya. Jayananda saved me! He gave me Prabhupada in a very special way. As we traveled down those highways, he told me countless intimate stories of those early days with Srila Prabhupada, and thus he made me a Prabhupada man. And I learned a love and respect that I had never known. I owe my love to him, and I do love him more than ever. On any sub-freezing cold day at the ratha cart lot of my mind, I’d tear off my shirt any time to cover his lotus feet, Krishna bless all who knew him or remember him, or have heard of him, jaya jaya Srila Jayananda Thakura, the personification of great victory of blissful love.

***

Confessions of a Nitya-badha

The question is- how long does it take? How long will it take us to advance nicely in Krishna Consciousness? We have seen that for most of us, it is a gradual process, as Srila Prabhupada has said. We can make it appear as if we have advanced suddenly, or we may contrive a semblance of advancement by the external trappings of dress and actions and position, etc. I once heard this termed as cardboard bhakti, or the holding up of a cardboard profile in front as appearance, while there are internal issues. External dress and practices, and steady advancement in rules and regulations are alright, I make no fault in that way. We may be blissful for years, but there may be tough weeds in our garden. Everything may seem fine for years and then huge anarthas may suddenly manifest. We have seen graphic examples of this, time and time again.

A higher Vaisnava once said that it is easy to imitate some of the symptoms of Bhava. But, there is one symtom of Bhava that we can never imitate, and that is "ahuituky apratihata" or non-stop, unceasing devotional service to Krishna and his pure devotee. That we cannot imitate. The advanced devotee remembers Krishna 24 hours a day, even in his sleep, and serves him constantly.

That is what we saw in Jayananda. Those who knew, said he was the most advanced in the movement. This is what we saw in his service attitude and attraction for the name and service of the name. It is said that a pure devotee is not recognized by his social position, number of followers, or ashram, etc, but by his attraction to the holy name. Jayananda showed an unswerving and selfless dedication to propagation of the holy name and serving Krishna and Srila Prabhupada and others with prasadam, philosophy, and Hari Nama, etc.

We have come to surmise that his advancement, that came so quickly, is really not normally possible for the usual sadhana bkakta devotee, who usually goes through a long process of sadhana before he is able to reach perfection. It is either the krpa-siddha or sadhana-siddha process that a nitya-badha soul comes to perfection. How did Jayananda do this so quickly?

Sometimes you would find him underneath a car, changing the oil, etc. Is this not a strange position for one so advanced? That is the whole point; position. Jayananda was not desirous of any particular position or post. Any position was fine for him, if it served Krishna. Servant means no position, only service. He did not care anything for pratistha or distinction. He desired only to be the servitor of Krishna, and thought all others were Krishna's eternal servitors, this was his vision. This is Ekatvam, or oneness of vision. He always said how others were advancing so nicely in Krishna Consciousness, going on beyond himself. Srila Prabhupada writes how this is the mood of one who is pure - he thinks himself as lower than the low and all others as better servants of Krishna.

He was not a controller of others, or desired to be so. It seems that when one has a strong desire to control others, this only betrays a lack of control. But Jayananda had the knack to actually control others with love, without trying to control. He persuaded them nicely and blissfully. He said, "let's go do this - not you go do this." He did everything with you, or sometimes he did it without you. In fact, he did alot of things we were too lazy to do. Like the trash, kitchen cleanup, Bhoga runs, dump runs, so many things.

This is my confession. A nitya-badha jiva is one with millions of years of conditioning. He does not become suddenly advanced. But, by the mercy of higher Vaisnavas, he makes gradual advancement. He's a fool, but when he hears from the perfect, repeats the perfect, then he is in perfect knowledge, and is on the perfect path, even though it may seem that advancement is slow. In other words, I may repeat the perfect as I've heard it, and thus I speak perfect knowledge. If I follow the perfect, then I'm situated in the perfect platform. That does not mean that I am in an advanced siddha position, or that I am without anarthas. I confess that I am one of those foolish nitya-badha jivas who just follows the perfect, and I saw that Srila Jayananda Thakura was not one of them. He advanced in a very short period of time. He showed us steady, unwaivering service, without hidden anarthas. We can say that it was either kripa-siddha from Srila Prabhupada, or it was from sadhana-siddha, probably from his past life. At any rate, neophytes usually do not advance in sadhana that fast.

A godbrother pointed out from the evidence of Srila Visvanatha Chakravarti Thakuar in his Madhurya Kadambini, that most everybody goes through a step by step process in sadhana bhakti. He pointed out that most all of us have been doing it for many years. We see that most of us take a very long time. It is usually a long haul up hill, until one reaches ruci, and then after ruci, it is down hill. Most of us are still climbing up that hill, and after 20 years or so, most of us are still in the 6 stages of unsteady or anisthita stages of Bhajana-kriya. The 6th stage is enjoying the facilities of bhakti, or playing in the waves of the ocean of bhakti, or taranga-rangini. This means that a devotee attracts followers and enjoys material gain, worship, and position, (labha, puja, pratistha.) Some seek pleasure in these weed-like facilities, which are small waves in the ocean of bhakti.

Jayananda could have easily sought those things. Everyone loved him and would have served him, worshiped him, given him position and material things, but he would have none of it. At any hint of praise, he would walk away. He was beyond all those stages mentioned in Madhurya Kadambini, He was in steady, uninterrupted service, or bhava. How could it be otherwise? Srila Prabhupada said he was always thinking of Jayananda. Srila Prabhupada requested us all to follow Jayananda's example. And Srila Prabhupada conferred the title of Thakura to Jayananda, and asked a feast be offered to him every year.

The point is, that he was the perfect follower of Srila Prabhupada, therefore he is the perfect leader. And we can also be the perfect followers of Srila Prabhupada and do the perfect by following the example of Jayananda, as Srila Prabhupada requested. Though I have failed so much in the past, I hope that I may glorify him and other devotees, and follow his example as best I can.

***

Separation and grief. He still lives.

Somehow I was going to write the next essay, "Only for other’s benefit"--but this happened instead. So be it.

How beautiful was Jayananda’s life? I'll tell you, but its not so possible to say in words. Listen to the sweetest piece of music, with angelic violins reaching an emotional crescendo, great summits of love laced mountaintop snowy heights, like some great Bach or Mozart symphony, or maybe Krishna Prema’s nicest and rarest moments of some of his greatest melodies, or maybe George Harrison’s emotional heights of musical splendor, or any great music you like, think of its finest moment of emotional impact, and that is how beautiful Jayananda’s life is. Transport yourself to a clear lake, transcendentally situated in some heavenly planet, with large lotus flowers and swans swimming about, with cascading waterfalls, breezes of rose fragrance, and that is how beautiful Jayananda’s life is. Not that it "was" beautiful, it still is. He still lives. We shall not reason ill to say such a Vaisnava dies, rather he still lives in sound and the hearts of his friends and devotees.

Now comes the strange confession. Here it comes. I never thought, never thought of telling this. But I told to my daughter one night, and I wrote to Jayananda’s mother and told her. I thought to leave it there. Thought people would think me strange. But now, I thought, may as well write it. Why not. The great life of Jayananda is not separated by time or space, he lives there somewhere with Krishna and Prabhupada, and everywhere in devotee’s hearts simultaneously. Three years ago, I had a near-death experience, thought I was having heart attacks for a week, at nighttime. Could not sleep, thought my heart was giving out. That night, after a week of this, I thought I was dead for sure, and somehow I fell asleep, and Jayananda came to me in a dream. We were hugging, heads on shoulders, both crying on each other’s shoulders, I cried in a wonderful way, so glad to see and touch him again, feeling ecstatically about his blissful form and graceful visit. I woke, in bliss, thought death was near for sure, because I was going to that "somewhere" up there, to see Jayananda again, no doubt, to see him again, see his blissful, beautiful form. But I was wrong, dead wrong, it was only ulcer pain in the chest, doctor gave me pills. Then it hit me, the grief of his absence, 20 years later, the grief set in. I cried on so much. Something about the whole near-death did something to me, made me so emotional and sentimental, so un normally emotional. I saw the balance of life and death, and realized that Jayananda was really gone, but still there. I would be in some store and hear some mundane song on the PA, and emotions would be tripped off and would start the crying. But when it happened, when I was alone in the day, driving or walking or something, even in a store, the crying would start and Jayananda would come to me. I saw him somehow, he still lives. Not with eyes, or maybe it was with heart, or mind, or maybe it was only in imagination, makes no difference, he came every day for at least a year, and now ever so often, still a lot, once in a while. Every day he came and I cried, sometimes it was hysterical crying, raging, senseless delirium, for a long time, crying out for him somehow, crying for God and Prabhupada, but mostly it was him. I saw him clearly, and sometimes he came in a strange form, not like the earthly form, curious hair and bright clothes. Emotion swelled in the heart, crying like a baby, like a little kid for mom. I think it was the closest thing to love of god, just a tiny smidgen of Krishna-prema, that is what it was like. No way, no, no way, was there any possibility did I ever get any love for Krishna, no, not yet, not in this life, but one thing was sure to me, I did feel love for the servant of his servant. That was sure. That was happening. Was it grief, finally come after 20 years?, or just longing and love and separation from the great soul and friend of mine? Both. Both are the same. Separation and grief and love are the same with great friends and Vaisnavas. You will know when someone you really loves dies, (like when his divine grace departed), you will know what I mean. Nothing hurts as much and nothing is beautiful as the visit of Jayananda and his sweet memories.

This was the emotional outpouring. There is was. I know no greater treasure than the memories of Vaisnavas like Jayananda Thakura and our Guru Maharaja, Srila Prabhupada. Always serve and remember them in your heart and hear and chant of Vaisnavas, they are Krishna come to us for our deliverance. Remember him, he still lives. He still touches. He still guides. He is there for everybody, as the great Prabhupada-follower-acarya.

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For the Benefit of Others
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